Say Goodnight To The Bad Guy

I need to clear some things up here, for everyone to understand my perspective at what has been going on...

I have genuinely felt hostility from people ever since Flo's "departure", It looked like I made him leave, I became the bad guy and I felt both guilt and the blame for him leaving has landed on me... And people have quickly jumped into conclusions...
Some even went as far as writing the following to me "There's no Flo, there's no us..."

He has asked me to "take good care of everyone" and I did my best. Nik was given the "leader" role, but he needed to deal with his father's passing, God rest his soul. I heard many are "disappointed" in this particular case with me... Perhaps you weren't satisfied enough, and I couldn't spare all of my time back then, I had problems with my family, business and school on my mind already.
Everybody who remained, helped a lot to hold everything together. If it wasn't for them, =RpR= would have already fallen apart.

Let's fast forward to the recent events, everybody was making a grand return, even Spartacus himself, whom I have never met until now. We had a very good run in the game, it was interrupted by the teamkills on Wanger...
Xiadz, Commissar and yours truly, get punished, I don't get it why I was punished, I was once again a bad guy, felt even more hostility... I even dare to think, that it made me look like the worst thing that could happen in Wanger's life...
We were pulling through this community for many years, I love that guy like a brother, we even pulled through when we were banned in the "Great Ban Wave" of 2016, if memory serves, which many of you still probably remember.
It ended with a "General Pardon". After that, we have set our goal to join the =RpR=, then, we started to climb the ranks and we made good friends throughout the years of doing that.
I really have found my place here, and I was having fun with every single one of you, that played the game with me and accepted me.
Even taught myself how to mod the game, delivered what I did best, for free even and I was having a blast doing it...

Both Wanger and Flo know, that those were "bad nades" and Wanger was in the wrong place, at the wrong time... Once again, I have heard you were "disappointed" about this situation as well...

I have already discussed the whole situation with Flo in private, and he knows I did my best under the circumstances present.
Gave it a lot of thought, and I thought about leaving, because I couldn't deal with so many things at once...
Having problems in an online community, was the last thing I wanted...
But Wanger, Flo's kind words and understanding pulled me back in.

I needed all of you to know this as well, so anyone who cares, would know my perspective, and know the fact, that I am only human who has a breaking point and I can feel hurt as well.

If you've got this far, thank you for reading and perhaps caring about my point of view on everything, that has been happening
It was never my goal to "disappoint" any of you, quite the opposite.

People were only disappointed because they hoped you could've put an end to all the killing.
You've failed in your Admin duties. As I prepared the official return message, I was waiting for
you to do something about it by yourself, not having to point that out myself. The last part of
my message was supposed to be yours, excluding yourself, of course, who knew the nades
were not intentional. As Sasha pointed out brilliantly: "that evening was the summit of what
was going on for a long time"

Everyone here who truly knows you, will always care and look after you. Maybe "disappointed"
is a wrong word, "worried" seems to be closer to the truth.

As always, All the Love

Yeah...

I will be taking a week off, I need to do something and sort everything out.
Shouldn't take longer than a week, but we'll see...
It should give you guys a detox from "worrying" about me so much